We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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