he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
