this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
