If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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