I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
