Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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