I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
