thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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