u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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