i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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