Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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