every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
