Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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