The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
