So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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