Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
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