I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
