My cat gives me a boner
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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