Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
