The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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