I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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