Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
