I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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