I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
