I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
