am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
