PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
