Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
