I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
