I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish you could order shots online.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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