you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
