come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
