Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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