Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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