i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
