There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
