I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
