She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
