and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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