I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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