i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Panties = found
Randomize
