its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
