I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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