Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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