i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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