How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
