Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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