It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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