I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
