it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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