dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
