I hate your face
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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