Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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