How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This baby is an asshole
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
