he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
