the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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