Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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